Image taken in New York City, Manhattan, by Asen Todorov. All rights reserved
When I hear someone saying that everything in life depends on us, I will have to disagree. Some events are brought to our lives, uninvited when we're not prepared for them.... and for some events, we're simply never prepared. I would like to send my kindest wishes to all people going through difficult times this Christmas. I wish you strength and love! To those who'd say "let's be naughty and save Santa a trip", I know that you're probably enjoying your high spirits and I wish you a very merry Christmas!
Image taken in NYC. By Asen Todorov. All rights reserved
It is the night before Christmas! If you haven't got any presents yet...here are some suggestions...
"To your enemy, forgiveness,
To an opponent, tolerance,
To a friend, your heart,
To a customer, a service,
To all, charity,
To every child, a good example,
To yourself, respect!"
My 2011 Christmas saying:
Magic exists! Its name is LOVE and it exists in our hearts! Have a magical Christmas!
Image taken in NYC. By Asen Todorov. All rights reserved
Today I’m going to
say a few words about a topic of high importance. There are questions that
I’ve asked myself many times, and now I got the answers…and just in case you’re
wondering too I want to let you know, so you won’t waste time figuring out: why
is that we want the things that are HOT?
If you happen to love
chili peppers, you may have had the experience of reaching the point, in which
your mouth is burning so much that small tears start falling from your eyes.
Some peppers are uncomfortably hot and even a very small amount could cause
actual pain.
Here are some hot
questions “What is so HOT about chili peppers, why
do we like the hot burning sensation and is this hotness useless?” .
Chili peppers are
known to be part of people’s diet (in America of course) for around 10 000
years. However, if you love chili peppers as much as I do, you may start
celebrating Columbus Day, because Columbus was the first known European
to be presented to chili peppers when he was in the Caribbean. After this point
they were distributed around the globe. YAY!
Who is the hottest?
The world's hottest pepper has the respectable name: Trinidad
Scorpion Butch T. What makes hot peppers hot are the
substances called capsaicinoids. When they bind
with the mouth pain receptors the brain receives message of the “hot event”.
However, the reason why we get actual pleasure out of this
pain is because the response of the brain to this message is “raising the heart
rate, increasing perspiration and release of endorphins”.
There’s the paradox- you’re burning but your body goes like: “YEAH!”.
Is the HOTNESS useless?
In defence of chili peppers, I’d say that their function is not to serve as
a natural endorphin high only. Chili peppers contain many vitamins such as vitamin C, carotene, B
vitamins, high levels of potassium, magnesium and iron. The Capsaicinoids in the chili are natural antioxidants and help protect against disease caused by toxins. They were also proven to reduce cancer cells and also have a preventative and healing role for a number of other diseases such as arthritis, high blood pressure, harmful bacteria, some skin conditions, common winter colds, just to name a few. Capsaicinoids in the chili peppers are also a muscle relaxants and a pain relievers. They also act as aphrodisiac and improve love life.
Chili peppers can warm you up in the cold winter days
not only when you have them as your meal. You can use the them in
other ways such as the ancient Japanese recipe for cold feet with chili that
is:
Recipe
“Chilli Pepper Foot Bath - Togarashi - for
Cold Feet
Togarashi or red chili peppers can be used to warm up your feet and
stimulate circulation. Add hot water to a bowl or foot bath and add some dried red chili peppers
to it. Sit and soak your feet in the water for about 10 min. Pat dry with a
towel, and moisturize.” (If you decide to try this recipe, make sure that your skin is not irritated and that you're not using too hot chili. If you feel any discomfort rinse your feet immediately!) (the recipe is from: http://www.naturaljapanesebeauty.com)
In Latin America women have also used it as a beautifier- applying a bit of chili mixed with raw honey on their lips,
helps the blood go to the lips and consequently they look naturally red, hydrated and
fuller. You can make this recipe on your own, but you may want to go for “LUSH”'s ready to use
lip balm with chili...
Anyhow, my point was that chili peppers rock! Hope you liked the HOT psychology & stuff posting. Have
a great HOT day! See ya! :-)
I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations
And you’re not in this world to live up to mine
I do my thing, and you do your thing
If by chance we should meet
It’s beautiful
If not, it can’t be helped.”
F. Pearls
Frederick Pearls
This primary “axiom of good functioning” (Latner, 2010, p. 35)
originates from the founder of the Gestalt therapy Frederick Pearls. It is the
starting point of his therapeutic sessions and it integrates the main
conditions for health and growth- accepting oneself, accepting the other person
and accepting what IS without enforcing, altering or mind-modifying either
myself, you, or what IS. The good and healthy functioning is a flow that goes
naturally. In this flow we realize our needs (without resisting, transforming
them, denying them, and doing what we “should”). Our functioning is
conceptualized as being a constant flow of forming Gestalts that we need to differentiate,
recognize and destroy. by taking the appropriate action. Interestingly, responsible behavior in terms of the
Gestalt theory is not doing things that we don’t want to, just because we “have
to”. To the contrary- this is considered to be irresponsible behavior, because
we’re not taking into account our naturally flowing needs. Failing to fulfill natural
needs frequently leads to frustration and neurotic behavior. Now, before
printing this page and giving it to your boss saying “You see what this page
says? My Gestalt is to go and have a beef steak, and then take a nap, and then
go to the movies with my friends. I need to be responsible to my needs, so I’m
leaving. And if the need to be closed in the office emerges naturally, I’ll be
back tomorrow again” you’ll probably realize a small, but significant detail from the picture. The life we
live is not exactly constructed in a way that always favors our health and
needs. However, the life we choose to construct for ourselves can be closer to
our natural and healthy state of mind. Now, we can continue being highly
irresponsible and keep working.
Today I had to post a new topic. However, I'm going to do that in a few days. Here and now, in my free functioning space, I decided to shut up and share not a publication, but what I'm listening to right now, while I work. Why? Because I'm enjoying it very much and I would like to share my pleasure with you. If you don't like this type of music, I hope you'll enjoy my next publication (which will come very soon).For the rest of you, I invite you to join my "shut up", Above and beyond-inspired "music therapy" work day :)))
The artists are: "Above and Beyond" the album is called: "Group therapy". I find it so cool! If you don't know it, try "A year of group therapy", "Eternal", "Thing called love", "You've got to go" and the other cool tracks...Here are some YouTube links:
One of the most intriguing writings in the field of psychology is definitely Carl Jung’s “Red book” or “Liber Novus”. Jung’s heirs didn’t want to make this particular work public, because they considered it to be too personal and it was kept from the public until the year of 2009, when Jung’s grandson Ulrich Hoerni was finally convinced to publish it. This work is one of a kind in our field, as it is a fine blend of art and soul all created by the great scientist Carl Jung himself. The beautiful calligraphic text is of course fully written in German. The writing contains a total of 205 pages. Some of them are full images, others are a combination of smaller images and calligraphic text and some are pure calligraphic pages.The illustrations are reflective and contain many symbols, which really makes the book even more personal. To be honest I was amazed of their art value and pleasantly surprised to see one more of Jung's talents. This work is a result of 16 years of work, in which Jung also developed some of his most significant theories. Of course I won’t discuss this work, because I think that just as it was written out of soul it has to be read that way too, so that every reader could project and consequently relate, or not relate to this work. Is this work a result of a psychotic episode as Jung himself explains it? Or it is a result of growth and enlightenment? Either way it would be a unnecessary speculation from my behalf to talk about it and I’d love not to. Nevertheless, I strongly recommend it to all people interested in psychology- it’s really valuable!
Here are just a few paragraphs from the book along with a few illustrations; only to get you into its mood…They’re random and probably you won’t get the full meaning. I really hope that you’ll read The “Red book” (if you haven’t done it yet) and you’ll enjoy it as much as I did!
“The Red book” (written between 1914-1930) by Carl G. Jung and published in 2009
“Liber primus”
“…Give me your hand, my almost forgotten soul. How warm the joy at seeing you again, you long disavowed soul. Life has led me back to you. Let us thank the life I have lived for all the happy and all the sad hours, for every joy and every sadness. My soul, my journey should continue with you. I will wander with you and ascend to my solitude.”
The spirit of the depths forced me to say this and at the same time to undergo it against myself, since I had not expected it then. I still labored misguidedly under the spirit of this time, and thought differently about the human soul. I knew many learned words for her. I had judged her and turned her into scientific object. I did not consider, that my soul cannot be the object of my judgment and knowledge, much more are my judgment and knowledge the objects of my soul. Therefore the spirit of the depths forced me to speak to my soul, to call upon her as a living and self-existing being. I had to become aware that I had lost my soul…”
(pages of the original text: calligraphy and illustrations)
“He whose desire turns away from outer things, reaches the place of the soul. If he does not find the soul, the horror of emptiness will overcome him, and fear will drive him with a whip lashing time and again in desperate endeavor and a blind desire for the hollow things of the world. He becomes a fool through his endless desire and forgets the way of his soul, never to find her again. He will run after all things, and will seize hold of them, but he will not find his soul, since he would find her only in himself.”
(illustration from the book)
“….But what is more ambiguous than love? Love is the way of life, but your love is only on the way of life if you have a left and a right. Nothing is easier than to play at ambiguity and nothing is more difficult than living ambiguity. He who plays is a child; his God is old and dies. He who lives is awakened; his God is young and goes on. He who plays hides from the inner death. He who lives feels the going onward and immortality. So leave the play to the players. Let fall what wants to fall; if you stop it, it will sweep you away. There is a true love that does not concern itself with neighbors.”
It was one of these confused days for Ana. She wasn’t able to decide if she wanted cappuccino or espresso. She wasn’t able to decide what to wear- black, white-or maybe red…no definitely not red, because she didn’t have any red clothes. Did she want to go to work by car, or by train? Did she want to attend the party in the evening or to stay at home? Unable to feel what was that she wanted, Ana had a cup of tea, picked her blue dress and walked to her office. On her way there she thought:“What do I need? Why it is so hard to decide?”.
As she was walking, the answer appeared in front of her- Henry’s book store. She walked in and decisively went to the self-help books section. “10 ways to get what you want”- was one of the titles she spotted. “Pointless- she thought- why reading how to get what I want, when I don’t know what that is…?”. “Discover the perfect happiness” was another title, which made Ana think of something she've heard: “If someone talks about happiness, he’s trying to sell you something”. “The road to success”- Ana got that book and turned it to the last 120-th page. “it seems like the road to success is too short”-she thought and stopped reading the titles for a moment. She looked at the vast shelves full of books. Did they contain the answers to her questions?
In a confused day like this one, she couldn’t answer that question. But she was determined to find out and she got the most suitable title- “Discover your needs”. Ana read the first two reviews- “Amazing book! Exactly what you need to discover your needs”; “Great life-changing book!”- and she thought…”Here’s a great opportunity to change my life for $19.99 only”. She got the book and went to work. The feeling of confusion remained the whole day, but she got the sense of hope consisting of the 275 pages that she had hidden in her bag. She went home that evening and read the whole book- it was interestingly written, full of good advices and it kept her nodding and agreeing. “Live your amazing day today”-she read the last sentence and closed the book. The next day, Ana started following the good advices. After all the best-selling psychologist who wrote it must know better…
Two months later…
Ana’s life was back to what it was BBSB- before the bestselling book. She had read so many good advices, and moreover-she had followed them. Then why on Earth was she confused again? She turned on the TV. A cheap margarine commercial was running. A happy family gathered for breakfast- everybody smiling and excited for having healthy toasts with margarine, eggs and orange juice. This commercial reminded her of the good advices- good in theory, but what happens in practice? “Did people even have the time to have their morning coffee together, before rushing to work?”- Ana thought. Furthermore, in the commercial the ideal scene was played by actors- they’ve created the illusion, but did those actors have breakfasts like that in their real life? Is this Mr. best-selling psychologist aware of his own needs to give advices to the world, or was he simply presenting an ideal scene, just like those actors? Ana decided to leave all these questions behind and get some work done. She checked her calendar that contained different quotations for every day of the year. It was 13 of June and the quote of the day was: “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. ”. Ana smiled, threw away the self-help book, and looked herself in the mirror.
Is it scary to say “I don’t know”? Is it important to say “I don’t know” as a starting point towards knowledge and understanding? Are knowledge and understanding important at all?... I don’t know…
Lately I feel like I don’t want to provide answers. People ask me different things and I simply reply “I don’t know”. Is it ok to say “ I don’t know?” Sometimes I ask myself if we’re required to have answers to all questions, and under the pressure of understanding everything we quickly apply flat answers just to get rid of the uncomfortable statement “I don’t know”. Most people seem to have attitudes and opinions regarding practically everything they’ve ever seen or heard of. You can make a small experiment yourself and start different topics randomly with your friends…try politics, human relations and behavior, business, religion, fashion or whatever, and just count how many people will say “I don’t understand politics”, or “I don’t understand why people act the way they do”... You’ll probably find out that everybody knows everything. Especially when it comes to politics- everybody seem to be ready to become a prime minister. So many experts, so much wasted talent, or better yet so much attitude-so little action. If we know it all why do we- adults, make mistakes in the first place? The curious thing is that we’re supposed to become wiser and more knowledgeable with age and probably you’ve noticed most adults see themselves that way. How many parents will say: “My children know better”? I don’t know… However, if someone challenges me I can provide empirical evidence that some of the biggest mistakes in history are made by grown knowledgeable people and not by children. I ask myself: Is it time to stop providing answers and start questioning just like children do? …I don’t know…
How about changing answers…or erasing them? Why provide long answers to complicated questions when in the end we lack understanding again…?...
I once heard that “the answer is the death of the question” . Dead questions? Just picture it in your mind for a moment. A huge place full of small gravestones each one containing a question…ok that’s creepy now. But seriously, think of important questions of yours and think of the answers. Is the answer good enough to bury the question? When I think about it, questions are much more stable than answers…because the question may remain the same, while the answer may change throughout time. In psychotherapy, most clients come to get answers. But is it important to get answers, or to raise the right questions? Once I believed that it’s very important to answer questions. Now I argue that answering questions and questioning answers, have equal importance…to me.
Which one is better?
Someone asked me these days: “Geri , which one is better real pain or fake happiness?”. I avoided the annoying psychotherapeutic reply, which would be to repeat the question and stare at my friend. I just said “I don’t know. What do you think?” And then my friend started talking and after a long speech he answered his own question. Maybe his answer is only valid for this specific period of his life, or even only for the specific moment. Maybe he’ll bring this same question to life again one day…I don’t know…They say that you get old the day you stop learning new things…or the day you’ve buried all of your questions and “you know it all”. Is this true? Well I don’t know…but here is an idea for all fellas spending thousands for plastic surgery to look younger. Learning new things and asking questions is not so expensive and it may work…who knows? Anyhow, I’m in the mood for questions…so I ask myself if all I wrote makes any sense?…I don’t know…and even if I did know the answer now, will it apply tomorrow as well?...
Hey guys! Just wanted to share quickly a few things I found, while looking for inspiration on the Net for a project of mine.
I found the brands "Dolce & Banana" and "Cupcake couture" and I can say "me likey!"- they're creative and cool, and I like their marketing strategy ((; Here is the Logo of "D&B"(a company for hand made stuff: www.dolceandbanana.com) and some of the products of "Cupcake couture" (www.cupcakecoutureusa.com)
this cupcake is called Berry Wang
this one is called Yves Saint Lemon
I also liked the design of the entrance of Tim Burton's exhibition @ MOMA in NY, which you can see on the picture above :)))
and the Army Smart design...
And some creative stuff I like that probably you're all familiar with...(for more check this link: http://myamazingfact.blogspot.com/2009/11/80-cool-creative-gadgets-for-daily-life.html)
Last, but not least, I can't help, but share the following and here I'll stop writing, because "a picture is worth a thousand words". Here are some examples of how creativity could save humankind
banana guard box
the "must have" home light
can't apply your lipstick properly?...you just need to get that...thing :S
just in case it's raining...
hat with a bonus: cheek-hat
summer's coming girls...here's a very nice pair for all occasions...
“You’re a psychologist!!!- The person usually says with a fake high-pitched voice. Then a fake smile follows, which is accompanied by eyes widening, and afterward, again using the fake voice the person typically says: “Now I have to be really careful what I say”- nearly 99% of the people try to make this sound like a joke (with no success) and 1% express their true frustration. I suspect that the initial 15 minutes are literally spent in a hard attempt to look “normal”.
The second thing that people say is “what is my psychological profile? Did you figure me out?” When I reassure them that I don’t work for free in my spare time the usual reply, which is always expressed with suspicious voice is “You couldn’t help but analyze! Now you’re thinking something about me! Tell me what it is!” In other words, with the presence of a psychologist, almost everybody get a wrong impression and weird atmosphere is formed, especially before the necessary several reassurances from my behalf that- “No, I’m not labeling, psychoanalyzing, diagnosing, categorizing.” However, here the study gets a bit more complicated and the sample could be divided into two categories. Nearly half of the people are relieved to hear that they’re not being psychoanalyzed. But there is the other half, that feels irritated by that fact, and they insistently start sharing intimate details of their lives, hoping that they could get a nice bonus of a free psychological profile. Some even get further, and start talking about friends and relatives, but I’m not getting into that now…
However, the thing that really irritates me, and not because I hear it, but because I don't have such abilities is "You’re looking at me like you’re scanning me”. I don’t know if people are biased and they see scanners in the face of psychologists, or I really look like an HP product, but it’s an interesting observation. I tested it and found out that when being psychologist-aware most people become delusional and see scanners. I’ve made a control study, in which I’ve pretended to be a cashier, or a gardener, or a professional sky-diver, and people do not notice the scanner…(or it might turn off when I'm pretending…can’t be sure). The only ability (disorder) that I’ve obviously developed is a research disorder of categorizing and automatically SPSS-ing data from the everyday life. In fact, developing this condition was the price to pay for being a freaking first class student (…just a small vanity moment…)J. Anyhow, if someday I develop scanning abilities, I promise to tell the world about it. I’ll write a letter to Oprah maybe, or I’ll go to work for NASA or something. Until then, I’m just being a usual everyday psychologist with ordinary terrestrial abilities…boring… yeah I know. Now that I’m thinking about it…I have to go guys, sorry! I have new skills to work on…
P.S. A bonus study that I made is “estimating the percentage of people that correctly identify my profession” The results show that 0% of the participants guess correctly”. Sometimes that makes me feel like a psychologist under cover. Cool ha? These days someone almost got me by guessing that I'm a helicopter pilot! :)))
Am I one of these actors that just go from one audition to another to get a role? A whatever role. Not a dream role, not the one that I really want to play…but just seeking to have one. Be someone. Explain why I’m onstage- that seems to be very important at the beginning. Than the other very important thing seems to be to prove that I’m needed for the successful outcome of the play. My role is important- that’s what other people need to think. I am afraid that if others onstage find out that the play can go on without me they may not accept me, respect me and see my significance.
Second act: the script
They take me to play a role. Not the one I want, not the one I’ve dreamed of…but a role, and everyone say it’s a good role. They give me a script. There is an exact list of things I should perform- only what’s described and nothing more. If I improvise- I’m out of the play. The words are written, the acceptable words that are suitable for my role. Everything else is forbidden. I need to learn the script, and rehearse, rehearse, until I convince myself, just as all actors, that these are my words, like it’s not a script that’s coming out of my mouth.
Rehearsal: make belief
I go onstage to play my role and it’s the only one that I can act out. Otherwise the other actors will be highly confused. I get bored at some point. Saying the same words, doing the same over and over. I say to myself “it’s only a rehearsal, let’s try to improvise”. This was a unsuccessful trial to test the humor of the other actors. They were way too serious and too involved in their roles to tolerate unexpected words and acts. They all stopped acting for a moment and gave me a judgmental look, because I’ve changed the scenario. I know that if I want to keep my role on the play I should follow the scenario. I rehearse all the time this role. Probably at the beginning I was getting tired easily, because I don’t even like the role that much. But then I got used to it. I mastered it. I feel convenient with it. Now I feel the character.
Grand premiere: when I missed ‘me’
Today was the grand premiere of the play. I played my role. I was excellent. I felt that this is me. In fact I’ve rehearsed this role so many times; that it’s even difficult for me to sense what is that I call “me” now. All people were applauding; the show was a great success. Here was my moment of glamour. Everyone was praising, saying bravo, smiling and seemed content. After a few moments the lights were off the curtains went down. The show was over. I now went to wash away the makeup. But I’m confused. Why is that I feel empty? Why I’m not satisfied? The other actors told me I was great. The public applauded me, I received a bunch of flowers. What is that went wrong? I was asking myself all these things, while I was removing the makeup. I looked myself in the mirror and I saw my pure face. I smiled. That’s how my face looked like. I had forgotten, because I was so into my role. No one was there to see me, to say bravo, to applaud, or to give me flowers, but this was the moment I felt complete. Maybe that’s what was missing this whole time in this play…I missed me. At the beginning I was so determined to find a role, just as all other actors, that I forgot that I already had one- the most important one, which
Isn’t actually a role…
Awakening: morning light
I woke up early this morning. I just saw a dream that brought me anxiety. I saw in my dream that I was an actor with no role, trying to fit myself into someone’s play- what a frustrating dream! In that dream I had no thoughts- all was a script. In that dream there was no improvisation or role switching, or flow. Everything was set. And the worst…in that dream there was no “I” or “me”…”I” was a role; it was part of someone’s play. Thank God I’m awake now, and I can see…
