Is it scary to say “I don’t know”? Is it important to say “I don’t know” as a starting point towards knowledge and understanding? Are knowledge and understanding important at all?... I don’t know…
Lately I feel like I don’t want to provide answers. People ask me different things and I simply reply “I don’t know”. Is it ok to say “ I don’t know?” Sometimes I ask myself if we’re required to have answers to all questions, and under the pressure of understanding everything we quickly apply flat answers just to get rid of the uncomfortable statement “I don’t know”. Most people seem to have attitudes and opinions regarding practically everything they’ve ever seen or heard of. You can make a small experiment yourself and start different topics randomly with your friends…try politics, human relations and behavior, business, religion, fashion or whatever, and just count how many people will say “I don’t understand politics”, or “I don’t understand why people act the way they do”... You’ll probably find out that everybody knows everything. Especially when it comes to politics- everybody seem to be ready to become a prime minister. So many experts, so much wasted talent, or better yet so much attitude-so little action. If we know it all why do we- adults, make mistakes in the first place? The curious thing is that we’re supposed to become wiser and more knowledgeable with age and probably you’ve noticed most adults see themselves that way. How many parents will say: “My children know better”? I don’t know… However, if someone challenges me I can provide empirical evidence that some of the biggest mistakes in history are made by grown knowledgeable people and not by children. I ask myself: Is it time to stop providing answers and start questioning just like children do? …I don’t know…
How about changing answers…or erasing them? Why provide long answers to complicated questions when in the end we lack understanding again…?...
I once heard that “the answer is the death of the question” . Dead questions? Just picture it in your mind for a moment. A huge place full of small gravestones each one containing a question…ok that’s creepy now. But seriously, think of important questions of yours and think of the answers. Is the answer good enough to bury the question? When I think about it, questions are much more stable than answers…because the question may remain the same, while the answer may change throughout time. In psychotherapy, most clients come to get answers. But is it important to get answers, or to raise the right questions? Once I believed that it’s very important to answer questions. Now I argue that answering questions and questioning answers, have equal importance…to me.
Which one is better?
Someone asked me these days: “Geri , which one is better real pain or fake happiness?”. I avoided the annoying psychotherapeutic reply, which would be to repeat the question and stare at my friend. I just said “I don’t know. What do you think?” And then my friend started talking and after a long speech he answered his own question. Maybe his answer is only valid for this specific period of his life, or even only for the specific moment. Maybe he’ll bring this same question to life again one day…I don’t know…They say that you get old the day you stop learning new things…or the day you’ve buried all of your questions and “you know it all”. Is this true? Well I don’t know…but here is an idea for all fellas spending thousands for plastic surgery to look younger. Learning new things and asking questions is not so expensive and it may work…who knows? Anyhow, I’m in the mood for questions…so I ask myself if all I wrote makes any sense?…I don’t know…and even if I did know the answer now, will it apply tomorrow as well?...
