Emotional Vampires

How to deal with emotional vampires

We all know vampires. We all have at least one such friend/family member/acquaintance, colleague... If you don't have...maybe it's you! Yes, I said it! Even if you do have...still may be  you... :P

 

 But what is so bad about emotional vampires and how to deal with them? How to hang around with them, but don't let them suck our energy? That's very essential information, because they are normally not satisfied with a little. The more they take the more they want. Emotional vampires are not so difficult to spot. Think of the person in your life who makes you feel exhausted, nervous, stressed. You have your normal day. You work and suddenly they call you on your mobile- 10...15...20.. minutes, you say to them "Can we continue with our conversation later. I've got a lot of work." And maybe you do, but just when you hang up you realize that you feel tired or at least you're not feeling that good. Or you have a good day. It's weekend. You meet your friend. He/she literally bombards you with information that makes you feel bad (no matter the topic). After the meeting- they feel great, they're smiling, their little eyes are shining and you feel like running to your bed.

 This friend may be someone good looking, charming and successful, or could be quite the opposite. But at the end- the result is quite the same. The emotional vampires may also discourage us to do what we want and provide us with bad statistics about our intentions.

 Of course they're not alone. Emotional vampires have fans who may like them and like to hang around with them. Some people have excessive energy that they don't know how to use it and emotional vampires are a very good way to drain the unnecessary amounts- just to be able to go home and fall asleep.

 But for the rest of us- how to deal with vampires. What is the "garlic" that we could use against emotional vampires? Is there anything that we could do to stop them, or at least redirect them to go and feed somewhere else?

First of all indicate the type of vampire you're dealing with:

1) the narcissist type- this type of vampire drains energy through obsessing and considering that their needs, projects and desires are the center of the universe

2)the victim type-the vampire, who always complains and obsesses with different issues that they present as a drama...you hear the same thing over, and over, and over, and over again and all solutions you come up with is confronted with a response such as "yes, I know, but...and the same over and over and over"

3) The one that controls- he/she knows everything better then you- what you want, how you feel, what you like, what is good and what is bad for you...and tries to enforce these attitudes into your life

4) The borderline vampire- the black and white vampire who either loves you, or hates you. Ones he hates you (which may happen after a small disappointment) they spent a lot of time to make others see you the same way...

Recognize who is a real vampire. Someone who did something one or two times can not be classified. We all become vampires sometimes. The problem is the pattern in the behavior of some people. They cross the line and turn the vampire way their only ways to communicate.

It ain't cool to be an emotional vampire- if you find yourself being a vampire you may want to do something about it- otherwise you soon may find out that many, many nice people just don't enjoy to be around you...and even vampire can't live on their own or around other vampires only!

What to do to prevent yourself from being a vampire's target?: SET LIMITS, BE ASSERTIVE and SHARE your opinion in a painless way. If you're misunderstood--sometimes that's better for you!

What to do if you're a vampire yourself?: find out something else to drain- not people. You may find yourself feeling a lot better and being surrounded by far better people. Find to enjoy something really enjoyable, and you may be surprised that it gives you more energy than all your friends, family-members, and co-workers all together. At the end of the day, you can suck energy from an exciting project-that can bring you something and not from the people around you- they go home, have a tea and rest and take their energy back-and you've lost your day for a really really pointless cause! :))) PEACE

P.S. Dear Skype, why there isn't a vampire emoticon? Please, do something about it! The abbreviation could be ":E"  Thank you!!! Geri

For completing this article I borrowed materials from: The emotional vampire survival guide on the following web address: http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/Emotional-Vampire-survival.htm